The Greene Turtle Sports Bar & Grille
It’s finally here, friends. The best holiday on the whole calendar, and no, I’m not just saying that because my last name is Greene. Happy St. Patrick’s Day!
This is a big day around Turtle HQ each year, and this year is certainly no different. You got an email yesterday telling you all about the Guinness Power Hour, but in case you forgot, here’s how it works: beginning at 11am, most of our locations will be featuring Guinness and Guinness Blonde for just ONE DOLLAR. I know, I know. We’re crazy. You have to get here quickly if you want to take advantage, though, because that price goes up by a dollar each hour until it reaches $5, where it will stay for the rest of the day. In addition to the Power Hour, we’re also hosting the Biggest Toast in Turtle History. Simply put, at 4pm every guest in every Turtle around the country will all be hoisting their glass in celebration of the best holiday of the year. I highly encourage you to join in. When else will you be able to join a toast of thousands of people? And finally, aside from the specials above, each location is doing St. Paddy’s Day their way when it comes to entertainment and other drink deals. Hop on Facebook and head to the page for your favorite Turtle to see what else is going on. As always, celebrate in a big way, but make sure you celebrate in a safe way. Designate a driver, call a cab, walk home, etc. Sláinte!
March Madness finally got underway yesterday, and it was a bit of a mixed bag for schools in the Turtle’s world. The Maryland Terps and Hokies of Virginia Tech had rough days at the office and will be heading home early. On the other hand, the Virginia Cavaliers avoided an upset and WVU and Villanova did what everyone with a bracket was hoping they’d do and moved on. Are you ready for another full slate of games today? Combine that with St. Patrick’s Day, and I’d say this is a perfect time to head into your boss’s office and give him the “My dog got out and no one can find him and he’ll only answer to me” routine. I mean, not only will we have all of our St. Paddy’s Day specials listed above, but we’ll also have every second of every game from tip to buzzer. In addition, you’ll also be able to take advantage of our March Madness specials, like $3 Miller Lite and $4 Shell Raiser (that’s $2 and $3 for you Mug Club Members, by the way).
The more I think about it, I’m not sure which thing I’m looking more forward to today: March Madness or St. Patrick’s Day. By the way, whose idea was it to have Notre Dame play yesterday instead of today? That’s a huge marketing opportunity wasted.
Day One of the tournament is in the books, which means that many of you have already begun that ancient tradition of planning just how long you’re going to wait before literally setting your bracket on fire. Fret not, dear readers. This year, you have an alternative bracket to fill out and this one has no wrong answers. We’ve been big fans of our Build Your Own Burger program since we introduced it last year and we figured it was the perfect way to get involved in the Madness of this month. So here’s how it works: you stop by any participating Greene Turtle, order a burger using our patented Burger Bracket (see below), name your creation, and then take a picture of it. Post it on social media using #TGTBurgerBracket and you might win a brand new Turtle Tee. It’s that simple. And, unlike everyone who had Minnesota beating Middle Tennessee State, you can rest assured knowing that your bracket won’t leave you feeling upset. (See what I did there?)
Alright, so here’s the apology. In the last Shell Street Journal, I poked fun at the lack of wintery precipitation that had fallen during this so-called Winter. I even made a Top Five list of things you could do with your snow shovel since you weren’t using it to shovel snow. And then Snowmageddon Stella decided to show up. Now, it wasn’t a huge event here at Turtle HQ. Most of us avoided the real brunt of the storm, but there were still folks out there who ended up with around a foot of snow in the Turtle’s operating area. I’m not saying it’s my fault, but I am a big believer in karma and not poking fun at the weather gods and I broke my own rule with that Top Five list. I should have known I was tempting fate by assuming Winter was actually over. That damn Groundhog was right again. 
It’s St. Patrick’s Day. There are a million reasons why you should order our Reuben, but you only really need that one to understand why today is the perfect time to order a Guinness and this hot, delicious Irish standard. There’s just something about the combination of thinly-sliced corned beef, swiss cheese, sauerkraut, and Thousand Island dressing that just makes me hear bagpipes. Having a Guinness might make you feel Irish today, but having a Reuben at The Turtle might make you feel like you’re literally IN Ireland. (Yes, I realize the Reuben is not an Irish sandwich. But just like the rest of us, it’s Irish today.)
This is an oldie but a goodie, and in honor of the day, I figured we needed a bit of Irish music to get us through. Meet Loka the Pug. If you haven’t seen this video, just make sure you watch it all the way to the end for the adorable and possibly tear-inducing conclusion. Enjoy.
I hope you’ll join me ever so briefly in wishing a Happy Opening and sending all the best to our newest team in Perryville, MD! It’s our 46th location, if you can believe that, and our first to ever be located inside of a casino. I wanted to show up and reenact a scene from Rounders to really mark the Grand Opening, but that idea was shot down. Something about “No turtles on the poker tables” or some such nonsense. I might be a bit slow at the making decisions, and literally doing everything, but I can definitely play. Anyhow, we’re proud of this new location and the team members who will be running it. If you’re in the area and want to check it out, it’s located inside of the Hollywood Casino. Tell everyone I said hi! And that they should never draw to the inside straight. Or split tens. 
In keeping with the theme of the day, I thought perhaps it might be appropriate to give you my Power Rankings of the luckiest items inthe world, just in case you’re looking for a bit of luck today.
The Top Five Luckiest Items
In ascending order.
5. Rabbit’s Foot – A lot of people swear by the luck of a Rabbit’s Foot, but if I’m being honest? I think it’s a bit gross and maybe a bit barbaric. Whatever works for you, man, but being a Turtle I’m all for the ethical treatment of my fellow animal kingdom brethren. Maybe we can figure out a way to make faux Rabbit’s Feet?
4. Horsehoe – In doing some research, I found out that the horsehoe is considered lucky because is was the shape of the crescent moon, which has long been revered as a symbol of fertility and fertility (apparently) equals good luck. Interesting. I just think about all the poor horses running around shoeless. Don’t their feet get cold?
3. Ladybugs – If a ladybug lands on you, it’s considered to be good luck in many cultures around the world. The only caveat is that you can’t just swat it away. As I mentioned above, I’m all for any traditions that keep animals (and bugs) safe, so I’m all in on this one.
2. Lucky Penny – This is a quaint tradition that has withstood the test of time. You don’t see people carrying around Rabbit’s Feet or horseshoes much anymore, but you definitely still see people beding over to pick up a penny when they see one. There’s also the intrigue of finding out when the penny was made and learning just how long it had to travel before it became your lucky penny. The question is, do you still pick it up if it’s heads down? Or is that a bad luck penny?
1. Four Leaf Clover – Guys. It’s St. Patrick’s Day. What else were you expecting in the number one slot?
Thanks for reading this week’s edition. As always, please email me at with any suggestions for future iterations of this newsletter. If you’re in the mood for more witty banter, head over to Twitter and follow me @thegreeneturtle. See something at the Turtle that needs to be addressed in the Shell Street Journal? Send it my way.